For a chuckle, or a headache - legal-ese version of my original proposed email 'Clandestine censorship of OUR mailing list!'

[Zenaan Harkness]

I propose that the following be NOT used for the start of a discussion :)

In particular, there are a number of issues, and this email is
probably too hard for most people to read, so I suggest starting a new
thread for a particular point, and to create a nice subject, if you
feel motivated to do so; feel free to quote any of the following
though - just in _case_ it wasn't obvious, I'm not trying to censor
here...

cheers
zenaan

---------
Subject: Clandestine censorship of OUR mailing list!

To the debian-user list administrators, hereafter collectively "you",
"your" and "yourself";

>From Zenaan Harkness, hereafter "I" and "my";

Take Notice that this notice arises pursuant to the following facts:
) That this Notice concerns the debian-user at lists.debian.org
email mailing list, hereafter "this list";
) That you are the list administrator for this list;
) That I am subscribed to this list;
) That as a subscriber to this list that I am vested with the
authority of a subscriber to this list;
) That subscribers to this list are vested with certain authorities,
including but not limited to the following:
   - to exercise the authorities of a subscriber to this list;
   - to bring list management problems to the attention of any and all
authorities within the Debian community;
   - to give notice to you regarding subscriber authorities;
   - to give notice to you regarding matters arising;
   - to make demands of you which demands are within your authority
     to exercise;
   - to subscribe to and unsubscribe from this list;

Take Notice further:
) That I am both a contributor to and a beneficiary of this list;
) That I am a user of Debian GNU/Linux;
) That this list is a public list;
) That this list is an uncensored list;
) That the intention and nature of this list is created by the
subscribers of this list;
) That the intention and nature of this list is that it be an open,
uncensored and community based list, in particular a list of, by and
for the users of Debian GNU/Linux;

Take Notice further:
) That you have responsibilities to the debian community, the debian
project, the debian users and to the subscribers to this list;
) That I understand that you have a responsibility to administer the
good running of this list;
) That I understand that you have a duty of care to the subscribers to
this list to ensure that this list is operated well, so that
subscribers may unsubscribe and exercise those authorities of a
subscriber to this list, and so that new people may subscribe to this
list, and so that the subscribers be facilitated to conduct ordinary
and expected administration of their subscription to this list, and so
that the subscribers be facilitated by you to exercise their
authorities regarding this list;
) That you are with a duty of care to me and to the subscribers to
this list to conduct yourself in honour and with respect to the
authority of the subscribers to this list;

Take Notice further:
) That I understand that this list is a public list;
) That I understand that this list is an uncensored list;
) That I believe that it is generally understood by the subscribers to
this list that this list is an uncensored and public email mailing
list;
) That censorship of this list is antithetical to the open and
community based nature of this list;
) That clandestine censorship of this list is antithetical to the open
and community based nature of this list;
) That clandestine censorship of this list is a violation of the
expectation, the understanding and the authority, of the subscribers
to this list;
) That the subscribers to this list are vested with the primary
authority regarding any and all censorship of this list, and that this
authority is vested jointly amongst all subscribers to this list;
) That clandestine censorship of this list violates the authority of
the subscribers to this list;
) That clandestine censorship of this list violates the right of the
subscribers to this list to be informed regarding any and all
censorship of this list;
) That clandestine censorship of this list violates the right of the
subscribers to this list to exercise their authority to make decisions
regarding censorship of this list;

Take Notice further:
) That, referring to for example the following posts:
   - https://lists.debian.org/debian-project/2013/10/msg00104.html
   - https://lists.debian.org/debian-project/2014/03/msg00130.html
   - https://lists.debian.org/debian-project/2014/03/msg00131.html
it has come to my attention that you have conducted clandestine
censorship of this list, in particular that censorship of certain
emails and certain individuals posting to this list has occurred
and is continuing to occur;
) That this censorship you have conducted is different to delays of
email posts which are put in place from time to time by you;
) That your clandestine censoship of this list is a violation of my
expectation of this list and of my authority to make decisions
regarding the censorship of this list;
) That your violation of my authority as a subscriber to this list and
of the authority of all subscribers to this list, is objectionable to
me;
) That it is my right to give you notice regarding my objections;

Take Notice further:
) That your clandestine censorship of this list is to me an intensely
objectionable action by you;
) That I vehemently oppose censorship of this list;
) That I vehemently oppose your censorship of this list;
) That I oppose in the most unambiguous and vehement terms, your
clandestine censorship of this list;
) That I oppose your usurping of my authority as a subscriber to this
list;
) That I oppose your usurping of the rights of all subscribers to this
list which rights include but are not limited to the right to be
consulted regarding any and all censorship of this list;
) That you have violated my trust in you to not censor this list;
) That you have violated my trust in you to not clandestinely censor
this list;
) That you have violated my trust in you to not usurp my authority as
a full and qualified subscriber to this list;
) That you have violated my trust in you to not usurp the authority of
the subscribers to this list;
) That your censorship of this list is intolerable to me;

Take Notice further:
) That it is in your interests to advise yourself to immediately cease
and desist from any and all censorship, clandestine or otherwise, of
this list;
) That it is in your interests to advise yourself to immediately cease
and desist from any and all usurping of authority of the subscribers
to this list which authority includes but is not limited to the
authority to decide who, what, when and how, any and all censorship of
this list shall occur, if any;

You are hereby authorized and in addition you are requested to provide
to this list, by way of posting an email to this list, a report
detailing:
) All censorship of emails or parts of emails to this list and of
subscribers to this list which censorship has occurred;
) The type and nature of all censorhip of emails to this list and of
subscribers to this list which has occurred;
) A clear, dispositive assertion that you agree to do no more
censorship of this list without the express emailed authority of an
absolute majority of the subscribers to this list;
) A statement regarding your intention to create or otherwise to not
create a new mailing list for debian users which is intended to be a
censored mailing list, which you may choose to name as
debian-user-friendly at lists.debian.org or otherwise as you so choose;

Take Notice further that an email posted to this list which is stated
to be on behalf of the administrators of this list shall be taken by
me and by the subscribers to this list as being on behalf of all the
administrators of this list and not just from the person posting said
email.

Sincerely,
Zenaan Harkness