[fortunes-fr-devel] Citations

carolina.ferrier carolina.ferrier@laposte.net
Sun, 19 Dec 2004 21:38:22 +0100


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Bonjour et f=E9licitations pour vos citations

Je vous en adresse quelques-unes extraites de MOTS ET GRUMOTS, un diction=
naire =E9crit par un humoriste que je viens de d=E9couvrir, Marc Escayrol=
 :
 
Si vous nagez dans le bonheur, soyez prudent, restez l=E0 o=F9 vous avez =
pied

Une femme qui veut que son mari lui ach=E8te une robe dernier cri aura to=
ujours le dernier mot

Un homosexuel est un homme qui a souvent des =E9tats dame

Un a posteriori est un a priori favorable d=92un homme envers une femme q=
ui a un beau post=E9rieur

Un homme plein de vices finit un jour ou l=92autre sous =E9crou

Dans un r=E9gime fasciste, on n=92apprend pas "je suis, tu es" mais "je h=
ais, tu suis=94

Au th=E9=E2tre, il faut toujours s'asseoir au premier rang, car si la pi=E8=
ce est ennuyeuse, au moins on en sort ras=E9 de pr=E8s

Mieux vaut habiter une maison en L qu'un ch=E2teau hant=E9

On peut dire de quelqu=92un qui vient de prendre une veste qu=92il s=92es=
t fait saper le moral

Tueur =E0 gages, c=92est un m=E9tier comme un autre; tous les jours, on p=
ointe, la seule diff=E9rence, c'est qu'apr=E8s, on tire.

Si un d=E9corateur vous propose des rideaux vert empire, exigez les m=EAm=
es en mieux

La montre molle est une invention de Salvador Dali, particuli=E8rement ad=
apt=E9e aux horaires souples et aux journ=E9es =E9lastiques, mais inutili=
sable quand les temps sont durs

La soci=E9t=E9 de consommation  porte mal son nom, car un con ne fait g=E9=
n=E9ralement pas de sommation avant de dire une connerie en soci=E9t=E9
 
 
  
Amicalement

Carolina
 
 
 =0A=0AAcc=E9dez au courrier =E9lectronique de La Poste : www.laposte.net=
 ; =0A3615 LAPOSTENET (0,34=80/mn) ; t=E9l : 08 92 68 13 50 (0,34=80/mn)=0A=
=0A
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<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Bonjour et f=E9lici=
tations pour vos citations</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><?xml:namespace pre=
fix =3D o ns =3D "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p><=
/SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Je vous en adresse&=
nbsp;quelques-unes extraites de MOTS ET GRUMOTS, un dictionnaire =E9crit =
par un humoriste que je viens de d=E9couvrir, Marc Escayrol&nbsp;:<o:p></=
o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></=
SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Si vous nagez dans le bonheur, so=
yez prudent, restez l=E0 o=F9 vous avez pied</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Une femme qui veut que son mari l=
ui ach=E8te une robe dernier cri aura toujours le dernier mot</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Un homosexuel est un homme qui a =
souvent des =E9tats dame</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Un a posteriori est un a priori f=
avorable d=92un homme envers une femme qui a un beau post=E9rieur</SPAN><=
/P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt">Un homme plein de vi=
ces finit un jour ou l=92autre sous =E9crou</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&n=
bsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt">Dans un r=E9gime fas=
ciste, on n=92apprend pas "je suis, tu es" mais "je hais, tu suis=94</SPA=
N></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&n=
bsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt">Au th=E9=E2tre, il f=
aut toujours s'asseoir au premier rang, car si la pi=E8ce est ennuyeuse, =
au moins on en sort ras=E9 de pr=E8s</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&n=
bsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial">Mieux vaut habiter une maison en L qu'un ch=E2teau hant=E9</S=
PAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">On peut dire de que=
lqu=92un qui vient de prendre une veste qu=92il s=92est fait saper le mor=
al</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&=
nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Tueur =E0 gages, c=92=
est un m=E9tier comme un autre; tous les jours, on pointe, la seule diff=E9=
rence, c'est qu'apr=E8s, on tire.</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&=
nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Si un d=E9corateur =
vous propose des rideaux vert empire, exigez les m=EAmes en mieux</SPAN><=
/P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"></SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">La montre molle&nbs=
p;est une invention de Salvador Dali, particuli=E8rement adapt=E9e aux ho=
raires souples et aux journ=E9es =E9lastiques, mais inutilisable quand le=
s temps sont durs</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&=
nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Arial">La soci=E9t=E9 de consommation&nbsp; porte mal son nom, car u=
n con ne fait g=E9n=E9ralement pas de sommation avant de dire une conneri=
e en soci=E9t=E9</SPAN><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial=
; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SI=
ZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></=
SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">&nbsp;&nbsp;<o:p></=
o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Amicalement</SPAN><=
/P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN>&=
nbsp;</P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-top-alt: au=
to; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: b=
lack; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">Carolina<o:p></o:p>=
</SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SI=
ZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">&nbsp;<o:p></o:=
p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SI=
ZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">&nbsp;<o:p></o:=
p></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SI=
ZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">&nbsp;<o:p></o:=
p></SPAN></P>
<DIV style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12px; FONT-FAMILY: verdana, arial">
<DIV></DIV></DIV><DIV style=3D'{font-family:verdana, arial;font-size: 10p=
x}'>=0A<DIV><br></DIV>=0A<DIV><br></DIV>=0A<DIV><EM>Acc=E9dez au courrier=
 =E9lectronique de La Poste : www.laposte.net ;</EM></DIV>=0A<DIV><EM>361=
5 LAPOSTENET (0,34 /mn) ; t=E9l : 08 92 68 13 50 (0,34/mn)</EM></DIV>=0A<=
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